How to Keep Your Mind Where You Want It to Be

March 15, 2012 By 43 Comments

Photo of Frederick Claflin

By Liz Scala

I had another email sent to me from a nurse in response to one of my articles.  Her comments struck me; “I try to push out negative thoughts instead of letting them fester – that’s hard.  I find I am sucked into conversations with coworkers about our negative experiences and I try to tell them ‘Let’s replace these discussions with the good, positive ones instead’.”  

Do you ever struggle with this?  You are doing your best to be upbeat but someone at work is always trying to drag you down.  A nasty comment here, some gossip there, and before you know it you are roped into an all out complaint session! 

Since I’ve started on my journey of healing, at times, I feel like an outsider looking in on the “cool” group.  I feel as if I am strange or weird.  I’ve been through many life changes.  I quit my job and began working with topics I was more passionate about.  I re-found exercise and healthy eating.  I practice stress reduction techniques.  I am happier and healthier than I have been in a long while; and my thoughts and feelings reflect that!  However, it is not always easy.  At times I feel very alone.

One afternoon I was hosting a barbecue/meeting for my Nurse Practice committee.  Co-workers were sitting outside on my patio while I was in and out preparing food and making sure things went smoothly.  I noticed when I sat down with them I started to feel fed up and irritable.  They were constantly complaining, gossiping, and talking negatively.  They were going on and on about everything that was wrong with our unit.  I couldn’t stand it.  I then realized amidst my life changes and my progression towards healing; I was leaving behind those who were still where I used to be.

This happens often.  I notice the scowls on people’s faces, bad moods, and negative energy.  I hear the complaints, gossip, and groaning.  I wonder, “Is it really that bad out there?”  My answer is, and continues to be, NO.  There is so much beauty in the world.  Nature is an awesome and amazing gift.  Children play and babies laugh and smile.  Volunteers and service people give of themselves unconditionally.  We are fortunate to have what we have and should reflect on this every day.  We should be grateful for our blessings and keep our minds upbeat and positive.  Easier said than done; right?

Here are 7 Tools I suggest to keep Your Mind Where You Want It to Be:

  • Meditate:  Make it your practice to take some time each day to sit quietly with yourself.  Observe your thoughts and let them go.  Even 5 minutes is worth it.  You may not notice any changes immediately, but slowly things will shift for you.

 

  • Breathe: When you are around negative people take a moment to focus and breathe.  Take a slow, deep breath in and out through your nose. Clear your mind and body.  Fresh air will slow you down and replenish your cells.  Exhale out all the negativity as you exhale your breath.

 

  • Excuse Yourself: Sometimes you just have to get up and get away from the conversation.  Take a couple of moments to yourself or splash some water on your face.  Then come back and try again.

 

  • Say Something: This is tricky and may take practice.  If you find yourself around a lot of negativity and gossip see if you can shift the conversation by speaking up.  Mention an objective observation; “My, we sure are complaining a lot today. Let’s see if we can focus on each other’s strengths for a few minutes.”

 

  • Repeat An Affirmation: If you are unable to speak up or remove yourself from the situation; try bringing a mantra to mind.  Try something like, “I am confident in the joys of life to see me through.”

 

  • Learn From the Group: Know that each experience you have in life you are meant to have.  Every part of your journey only makes you stronger.  Each conversation or group you are involved in is teaching you something.  Maybe they are teaching you patience!

 

  • Change Your Scenery: Find a new group to be around.  Sure, those people you work with or have known all of your life will always be there.  But join a club, volunteer group, or work association where people are involved in things you like to do, who are positive people, and who are on their own healing journey. 

 

Editor’s Note: Liz Scala writes about Health and Wellness twice a month for AMSDaily. You can visit her newly designed blog at Living Sublime Wellness to read more on these topics.  Subscribe to her website to get your free daily meditation audio and a journal gift!

Filed Under: Photography by Frederick Claflin, PURPOSE IN LIFE, Wellness - Liz Scala Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Wednesdays with Buena: Reap Your Rewards

March 14, 2012 By 6 Comments

Photo of Shem-shem Pablo

By Buenaflor Laoang

As it is Wednesday, I am writing for AMSdaily. There, we try to make every week of 2012 count, as midweeks I come out with life challenges that any one can carry out as a theme of his heart for the rest of the week- with a prayer that he or she will be inspired to keep moving on with gladness and excitement and eagerness and lessons for each week. :)

This month, we are in the “R” of the acronym March! For we desire to be moving forward this March! Here it is-

Reap Your Rewards

Hey! Is that you I am hearing- you are about to call it “over”? Is that you who is about to turn your back from whatever it is- because somebody said, it isn’t working, or that it’s not bringing you anywhere? Are you seeing your efforts worthless, demanding too much from you yet giving you too little? Is that you?

Wait now. Sit a while and breath. I think you have been working too hard, and always on the move, that you have forgotten to do one important thing about all your works- listen, have you taken time to reap your rewards-and I mean it- now?

You may not be seeing yet the fruits of your labor. You think you are far away to the end. But tell this to yourself- every action you take is a reward to reap! Celebrate in your every step, however little it is! Those steps are what’s bringing you to a very special prize, but listen- in each of those little steps, means your personal reward of the determination to get up each day, the pursuance to achieve your goals, the perseverance to make or do something, the commitment to a fruitful and grateful life.

Reap your rewards now, and with that I mean- think back how far you have gone. Remember the empowering details your tasks have given you. See how you survived every grueling or annoying point. Look at how it has made you become. And here, my friend, I’d like to tell you this- if by so doing, you see that it hasn’t made you anyone better, then you are also in that reward of saying, “Well- I have given all I can; time for the next stuff!” And you will still be moving on with a bright face.

Reap your rewards. Today, treat yourself the best ice cream in town. Buy yourself that stuff you’ve been eyeing for long. Give yourself the break it deserves. Hey- you have done quite great! If you still can’t enjoy the fruits of your labor, then just enjoy the labor! If they can’t enjoy it, then let them know you enjoy it! Or so much better- call everyone out to celebrate!

Better do that this week.

 

Editor’s Note: Buenaflor Laoang-Rosete contributes weekly on AMSDaily. You can visit her blog at Barefoot Life Reflections to read more about inspiring stories.

Filed Under: Photography by Shem-shem Pablo, Wednesdays with Buena Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Take the Opportunity: Daydream

March 12, 2012 By 26 Comments

Photo of Shem-shem Pablo

By Stuart Young

Take the opportunity today to
just daydream a little.
You’ll be glad you did. :)

Some people call it meditation, some call it being still, I call it
daydreaming. When you take the time to do nothing your mind can
wander. It can happen while you’re doing something mundane, that
doesn’t need your full attention – washing the car for instance. It
can happen while you walk in the woods or the park, as one foot falls
in front of the other you find your mind drifting to past events or
future dreams.

 
This is a creative process. One of my goals for the coming year is to
spend 15 minutes a day just daydreaming. The idea for this book came
from sitting in my kitchen with a cup of tea and one of our dogs at my
feet. My other half was out walking our other dog, there was no radio
or TV on – it was silent and my mind just drifted.

 
Try it, it might not bring any fruit the first time but that doesn’t
matter. The very process of daydreaming is reward enough.

 

Happy dreaming! :)

 

 

Editor’s Note: Stuart Young writes his thoughts on How To Change Your Life One Day At A Time. He aims to provide a “set of 365 practical little guides which WILL change your life if you commit to implementing as many as possible.” He is also completing his book about changing your life one day at a time. You can check his thoughts here.

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Self-Care 101: How to Start Caring for Yourself

March 9, 2012 By 22 Comments

Photo of Shem-shem Pablo

By Catia Michelle

I was twenty-two years old when I first heard someone use the phrase “Self Care”. Perhaps because, for over a year, I had been feeling sluggish, pasty, and weak (even going to the doctor twice for muscle pain and spasm) that my ears perked and I turned my head.
“Self Care? Explain!”
My friend, a woman I  have always admired for her non-anxious and inviting demeanor towards life, explained that she understood Self Care to be fundamentally the attitude that we are ultimately responsible, and capable of influencing, our own well-being, stress levels, physical health and comfort. She explained that she had first begun researching Self Care after spending a year as a chaplain at our local women’s prison, a windowless place where she spent hours a day hearing stories of abandonment, injustice and deep depression. She realized quickly upon starting there that her own mental health and physical stability would be compromised if she didn’t pay careful attention to her mind and body both before she went to work and when she came home.
Learning Self Care: What is it?
I was intrigued. Something in me knew that the past year of trying to rely on medications and doctors to feel more energized, calm and inspired was not working and was never going to work. I scoured the internet when I got home that day for anything pertaining to Self Care and I was swimming in information on how to have more energy, live a happier life, and rest better.
Many of the ideas I came across were essentially basic. For instance: drink more water. Go to bed on time. The difference was this: no longer were these things I wanted to do because I should do them, or because a health professional or blogger told me they would be good for me, they were practices I was choosing because I love myself and want to take care of my body, mind and spirit.
I have decided that Self Care, fundamentally is defined by an attitude of care towards my body, mind and spirit and an absence of the word “should”.
Is Self Care selfish?
Over time, I’ve learned that Self Care, too, also isn’t really just about me.
It does involve my community because often good Self Care means saying No, and having a community that understands No is vitally important. This is especially true because often, in the name of Self-Care, I have to say ‘No’ to things simply because I know they won’t be good for me in the long run.
As a pastor, this is really hard. I feel like I am being selfish, like I should show up to every event, be prepared to work long hours every Sunday, and make sure I’m actively involved in everything happening in my community. And when I say No to some of those things, it feels a lot easier to have a “real” excuse: “I’m sorry, I need to be home taking care of my Mother” or “I have a previous engagement”.
Saying “I”m sorry, but I really need some extra time to rest this week” doesn’t feel as legitimate.
But sometime last year I started saying that, because it was the truth, and it was really difficult to do at first. Some people didn’t understand.
But as I began choosing to practice great Self Care, I knew I needed to only choose activities that were really life-giving for me, and by doing so I would actually be modeling healthy behavior for my community.
And you know what?
Despite working to focus more on my Self, because I have greater energy  and more inspiration and better emotional health: I actually have more time and energy for my community and more openness in my heart to form deeper relationships.
And – That’s not selfish at all!
Editor’s Note: Catia Michelle is a pastor, who loves to write about motivation, routines/habits, mornings, and exercise. She maintains a blog, Joy For Today and commits to contributing on AMSDaily twice a month.
Filed Under: Faith - Caitlin Desjardins, Photography by Shem-shem Pablo Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Wednesdays with Buena: Act!

March 7, 2012 By 15 Comments

Photo of Shem-shem Pablo

By Buenaflor Laoang

Last week, we started off with a manifesto of personal leadership, because this March, we aim to really MARCH! Make something happen! Create impact! Leave some wonderful difference! Whatever it is you think will warm the hearts of many- go for it; claim it!

However, I have to confess this to you- the moment you desire within you to march forward, the enemy of ourselves will also try very hard, very intently, to stop us! He will say you’ve been doing just too much; you’re tired; you don’t need it. He will issue every complaint; he will try to make your time appear too short for what you want to do; he’ll make it look like your efforts are not worth it; he’ll whisper, “it will be okay even without your acts anyway….”

Well- if you will listen to that stopping voice, that is. 

But if you listen to that directed, determined, courageous, still but unafraid voice within you- you will continue. You will march and go forward!  You will go with cheers, with eagerness to finish, with enjoyment of the details, with excitement in what’s next… with passion, with grace. YOU WILL ACT!

And act your little steps of life, unshaken.

Also, act as the writer Paulo Coelho so powerfully puts it- “act because you need to act”.

I hope last week you have been fueled by that manifesto.  This week, act whatever it is you need to act on! March is too short. Life is too short. ;)

 

Editor’s Note: Buenaflor Laoang-Rosete contributes weekly on AMSDaily. You can visit her blog at Barefoot Life Reflections to read more about inspiring stories.

Filed Under: Photography by Shem-shem Pablo, Wednesdays with Buena Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,