Wednesdays with Buena: Crisp Scent

Photo of Shem-shem Pablo

By Buenaflor Laoang

 

Isn’t it so – you and me – we are captivated to the smell of new things.

A new blouse, a new guitar, a new car, or a new pair of shoes on Christmas Day.

Not just the scent, but also the touch.  It feels so first time that we will not want any unwanted mark on it, and we will be very careful about it.

But know what about me – I appreciate the scent of new things the most, after I had just been so deprived, or hurt, or lost..

What am I saying? The scent of things new can be most invigorating to us when we’ve just been or become too tired of some old ways.

Today as I woke up from last night’s raging typhoon, I went to see my backyard- and looking at all the sandy, torn things splashed and spread all around by the flood- the smell of the ground rather made me say, “Well- it’s a brand new general cleanup day! I see the pots and rocks looked exactly the same way until today; it’s time for a brand new look!”

I heard a wife had experienced a storm in her marriage, endured the harshness of her alcoholic spouse for many long years, and finally with a luggage went to the door with her little children carrying their knapsacks, and said – “End of all the misery, today, I will give me and my children a brand new future ahead.”

Somebody out there may have been so bossed around and belittled by the master he serves for ten years now and all he got was sarcasm and disapproval, may at last realize, “I am loyal, but my loyalty will not end to my master now, not even to myself, but to God, and how He created me as a wonderful person. Today I’m having a brand new life!”

Have you ever felt dragged, boxed, dug into a miserable hole in this life? Or maybe, you are simply bored by your hair style or rugged pants by now? Have you grown tired of the old and not so favorable ways?

Give yourself a loving break! That self that has braved with you through all the lonely days deserve to be cheered up. Revive it with something- crisply, fragrantly new!

And may the crisp scent of things new around and about you – energize, invigorate, revive you!

To the Black Swan

 

Photo of Shem-shem Pablo

By Alpha (Day 103)

 

I know how you are feeling right now – rotten as a dirty old dung. You feel sick, unattended, mismanaged and probably neglected.  Even if you are represented by your lawyer or another  authoritative figure, I understand you feel like you are being used. You also feel that everything is dictated because you think the system is playing against you, not for you!

I’m sorry to say that you feel that way. I know you can not do much – or anything at all! Your hands are tied and you wish you wear your own words on your sleeves. But you don’t or you think you can’t.

I know why you feel that way most of the time these days. You wish you were someone else! You also hope that you disappear from all your friends. Yet – despite the attempts, you seem to fail. You still bring yourself up to think and doubt of who you really are. In fact, you seem to not know who you truly are. You are lost, or so you think.

At times I wanted to ask you: how can you get out of this mess? How do you think you can create your future away from the advice of the people around you? When can you learn to just stand up and speak your words out of your mouth, instead of following somebody else’s command?

But, oftentimes I don’t want to ask you any of the questions – because I understand why you are, the way you act.

I can really understand why you act this way. You didn’t choose to be where you are or whom you can rest your exhausted body at night. But because you really didn’t have any choice, you just let them do the legwork for you.

When I look at your eyes and see the sadness in them, I feel for you! You are very young to be misguided or not guided at all! You need somebody to help you carve your own future. You need somebody other than yourself or your alter ego to show you a better way.

But who can you turn to?

My dear, I feel for you.  I know you know that, too!

I want you to know that I empathize with you and your situation. Individuals like you break my heart all the time!

You know I got your back – but you have to learn how to put your back on people like me, as well!

You need to learn how to trust and let the magic of it rule you.

You need to learn that!

Wednesdays with Buena: Life-long Learner

Photo by Randy Legaspi

By Buenaflor Laoang

Yes, I’d still choose to think of it that way – I’m learning.

Though I dropped down to my knees and cried, I stood up.

Though I failed a lot and disapproving faces surrounded me, I still tried.

Though many times I felt like dying, I chose to face the new day.

Details of me during the previous months:

I went out of career, then felt so left out, and mused about going back,

I decided to hands-on my children, then screamed at the top of my lungs for acceptance to come, for it’s just so hard,

I started blogging, then turned off from my commitments every time.

Still, at the end of my rope, I see myself – hanging!

There is no way to give up on anything. Even though I have not made my steps sure and the road is full of blocks to even see a finish line- I shall continue.

I know what matters. I’ve been learning. Bits and pieces. But when one day comes I can gather all together, I think I’ll have a full circle.

I should continue. It’s my choice.

What’s your choice?

 

 

Would you give up on what you lately decided on, because it seems like it just wouldn’t work?

Would you stop from that project you started, because it seems you are going against currents?

Would you follow as the world dictates, and not as you wanted it?

It is your choice.

But remember- it is about you.

Are people really busy?

Photo of Leizl Joy Nayahangan

By Alpha (Day 101)

 

 

“I know you are busy – but do you have a minute?”

“I’m sorry if I am taking your time right now, I know you are very busy.”

“I understand how busy you are and I appreciate your time with me.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve been busy at work, I haven’t had the chance to call you back.”

“I don’t have enough time to even get a manicure I am so busy!”

“You guys are busy, so I don’t bother to give you a call thoughout the weekdays.”

“She has so many afterschool commitments that she can not find time to . What a busy life!”

Do these lines sound very familiar to you?

I bet they are!

You hear it all the time – from family members, friends, neighbors, workmates, fellow grocery shoppers, mom groups and from other organizations you decide to associate yourself. It is not uncommon to hear these excuses anymore rather they are household phrases.

I for one, do it too  - and I am guilty about it.

I understand that people are busy (that includes me!) but I also believe that if you make time for something that you believe is important, then being busy is out of the picture.

That’s why – as I was wrapping my workday last week I finally started a revolution to myself.  The minute I anticipated such lines,  I started to say to people within my circle, “Please, be my guest!” instead of “No, I am not busy at all!”

I also realized that a lot of people just assume that their friend or their boss is so busy because of the nature of their work, their family structure and the activities they choose to engage in – but in reality, we know that there is still some room to squeeze in some time to do leisure and play time within their schedule, be it tight or not. Look how many times you see people update their twitter account or any of their social networking profiles on what they are up to, then you say they are busy? ‘Course not!

Finally, some thoughts about being busy: When people claim they are too busy they can’t even pick up the phone to say “hi” or “hello”, I think there are only two reasons:

a. they are either choosing not to prioritize it

OR

b. they just forget about it (when they remember you, they will call)

I know, I fall in one of those categories sometimes – and again, I am guilty of it!

Saturday Success Story Eleven: ABNER FELIX

These days one of the easiest way to know the credibility and integrity of a person is by typing his name on any one of the search engines, (Google if you may) and it will generate the results that you so want to see and read. Gone are the days of waiting for the results of a CORI or the long lines of going to the NBI to get your cleared records. In these days of instant communication and information technology at the end of your fingertips, finding people whom you’ve known and met years ago and how they have fared through life since the last time you’ve seen them, has been as easy as hitting a “that was easy!” button from Staples!

Take our Saturday Success Story for instance. If you type in his name on Yahoo.com (we’ll use that instead of Google) the first thing that will pop up from the results is a facebook page. If you are friends with him, you will surely land on his wall and his information. On that page, you will be able to take a peek of what and who he is, and why he is a success story.

As an Engineering graduate from the University of the Philippines, our success story of the week has been trained to lead and succeed. The academic rigor at the UP-Diliman campus has prepared him very well to handle the pressure and the expectations of a would-be executive. Even at an early age, he was already being prep to succeed. Being the only son to a public school teacher, Mrs. Juliana Felix and a former school teacher, Mr. Armando Felix (noted for his Dad’s looks and many of the townspeople know him by is name “Manding”!), he grew up to exceed and meet their high standards.  In fact, he graduated as the valedictorian from grade school! In high school he was involved in many leadership activities which later on served him very well. He finished high school as the class salutatorian from Tarlac College of Agriculture-Laboratory High School in Camiling, Tarlac.

Talked about overachiever at an early age! Hence, being an overachiever gets a person to where he puts his heart into. Once an achiever, always an achiever. That was the idea that our success story has in mind long before he was able to feel comfortable in his life.

Because he was true to his passion and what he has learned from college, he pursued his interests, his first love and he stuck to it even if it meant leaving the Philippines. That first love was – providing what is the best for his family and for the future of his only daughter.

When he arrived in New York, as most Filipino immigrants would have experienced – life was not really filled  with honey and milk immediately, nor all the time. But because he was incredibly talented and smart, he was blessed to land a job that fulfills his passion.

What is  also notable about him is that he is proud and happy to lead one of New York universities’ Environmental Health and Safety Council. As the Director in one of the largest urban public universities in the United States, he has a big job to attend to. He has his hands full! In fact, if you are one of the Directors of a campus that has over 480,000 students, you have an obligation to adhere to the standard culture of achievement of that campus! You have to – you do not have a choice. But, what is even more extraordinary about this is that, if you are the only Filipino in the whole university who is part of the administration team, then – that becomes a joy to remember! That becomes historical! YOU become a part of the history and then you hope somebody recognizes your effort for being the only Filipino in the administration team who is behind the push and the many initiatives of the university!

Such is the career path of MR. ABNER FELIX, a family man, one of the College Directors of the Environmental and Health Safety, Dad of Allyanna, tee-time goer, sports junkie and most importantly, he recognizes where he came from and is thankful for it!

Addendum: Now, before you read the rest of this post what really makes our Saturday Success Story a hot entry on Google search , google your name first and see what comes up.

Here is his humbling story:

AMS: Tell us about yourself. Your education, training and where you are currently involved in.
AF: I consider myself a go-getter, have high standards and always motivated to master something I put my mind into, whether its work, sport, hobby or particular interest I have. Being with people – working with them, being involved in a cause, engaging in similar interest or entertaining – comes naturally to me .

While I don’t consider myself a perfectionist, I strive for excellence in everything I do. I always do my best, accept mistakes and learn from them without feeling unworthy or diminishing self-esteem.

I believe I have an eye for aesthetics and technology – it can be fashion, home design, electronics, technology. My style or preference in design is modern contemporary.

I consider myself a sports junkie, musically inclined, tech guy and someone who has never forgotten where he came from.

I finished my Bachelors Degree in Metallugical Engineering at University of Philippines, certified in several Materials and Process Engineering areas and Environmental Compliance and Occupational Health and Safety. In the Philippines, I worked at San Miguel Corporation, MOOG, Inc. (Baguio Branch).

In the U.S., I started with Cleanharbors, an environmental management company that supports top pharmaceutical clients, semiconductor and aerospace companies and universities.

Most recently, I was an Assistant Director/Environmental Health Specialist (EHS) at Hunter College in New York. Currently, I am EHS Director of the City University of New York’s (CUNY) Bronx Community College.

AMS: At this point in your life, what are some of your greatest achievements?
AF: Getting my engineering degree at UP Diliman remains one of my greatest achievements, something that at one point didn’t seem to be possible given financial difficulties in my family. Even if I was the only child, it was hard relying on my mom’s public school teacher paycheck only.

Migrating to the United States and making it here professionally is another achievement. I never dreamt of it, but it’s definitely a blessing that it happened to me.

Being considered one of the EHS leaders in the largest urban university (CUNY) is also an important milestone in my career.

Lastly, being a family man – husband and father to a wonderful 12-year old daughter – is something I am most proud of. My wife is the yin to my yang while my daughter keeps me driven to continue to work hard for her future.

AMS: In going for these achievements, who helped you? Did you have any mentor or somebody who helped you while pursuing your career?

AF: I didn’t really have a mentor, maybe because of my independent nature. However, there’s somebody whom I believed always helped me, pushed me, motivated me – it’s my wife. Shirley taught me to reach for things I never even thought were possible. She’s been always there when I need somebody to cheer for me, to rally my spirits, listen and tell me that everything is possible and I can do it!

My mom (Mrs. Juliana Felix) is my inspiration. She has a soft-spoken and submissive nature, but what I will not forget is that she never said ‘NO” to me. She always makes things happen for me when I was in high school and college, even though we were living from paycheck to paycheck, or if it meant going door-to-door to borrow money so I can get my weekly allowance, pay for bus fare so I can continue my schooling.

AMS: If, you were to tell us what are the most important skills that you need in order to be successful – what are they?

AF: I think that it’s important to be willing to take risks and possess problem solving and creative skills.

It is also critical to always have a plan and contingency plans if things don’t go your way the first time. One should not give up right away and having a plan keeps you on course to achieving your goals, whether short or long-term. One always has to know how to work with people, get them motivated and be able to influence them.

AMS: You work in NYC as an Engineer, right? What do you think is the biggest challenge when you were starting out your career in the United States? How did you overcome some of these challenges?

AF: I am not really practicing my profession as an engineer now, per se, but because of my previous engineering work and skills during the first few years of my career in the Philippines, I was able to apply this in my present occupation. The biggest challenge for me was communication and adapting to the American workplace culture and employee-employer set-up.

Another issue is discrimination which is still prevalent in the US, where you are judged based on where you came from, your accent, your education. Establishing credibility doesn’t happen overnight, you have to earn it, then respect will come and people will stop judging you and see what you can bring to the table. Sometimes, people are surprised how accomplished or experienced you are because you are not from the US, and came from another country.

AMS:  While growing up Manong, what were your dreams? Have you reached all of them? If not yet, what are you doing to achieve them?

AF: As a child, I’ve always wanted to be a doctor or lawyer. But my ultimate dream is simple — to be able to give a better life to my parents and having a better life than the one my parents had. Being an Environmental Health and Safety person, I guess, somewhat gives me the satisfaction – my present job requires basic medical knowledge in identifying and solving potential adverse health effects of chemicals and hazardous substances on campus, and the part of environmental and occupational safety compliance to regulatory mandates takes the other half of my ultimate dream. Come to think of it, my job right now actually has aspects of being a medical doctor/lawyer job combined work wise, that makes it fulfilling and challenging.

AMS: What are your next goals? for your family and for your professional growth?

AF: My primary goal is to provide the best education that I can afford for my daughter Alyanna to help her reach her fullest potential, be able to give her the opportunities that I never had.

Professionally, I dream of setting up my own environmental management company catering to demands of private and public sectors in the fields of environmental consultancy, remediation, testing, etc.

I also plan to get a graduate degree, but I haven’t decided yet which academic avenue I should focus on.

Lastly, I also would like to retire well with my wife, be able to enjoy what we have accomplished in our life together and I look forward to spending my twilight years, most likely traveling and retiring in our dream house by the water or an incredible view, maybe with my dream car parked in our garage.

Daily with you,

Alpha :-)

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