Photo of Shem-shem Pablo

I know you want to be popular. Don’t worry, it is not just you -but most people I know. I have seen it, observed it and have studied it myself! There  is actually no way of hiding it- I know you seek a level of popularity – be it in your family, your circle of friends, at work, in your choice of social networking site such as Facebook or in the restaurant – you know you want to be seen, or heard, or be attended to! You want to be the popular person in the room whose presence is felt every time you walk in the door.

But don’t you wish you were really that popular?

So popular that everyone around you awaits for your arrival, awaits for your next idea, awaits for your next move, or your next Facebook/Twitter shout out! You wanna be that popular, right?

But somehow, some way you are not getting the audience that you want.

Here’s why:

1. You do not have the attention of your audience. Get their attention first. Do not enter the door or interrupt a conversation if your audience is busy doing something else. Wait until everybody is almost bored or is not doing anything, then get your acts together and do your thing. Start talking. Do something entertaining and make it real.

2. You are not believable. People know if you are a phony or trying hard to become the “it” individual in the room. People feel it. They know it. So, if you are just putting a show just because you really want to gain that front seat, forget it you will not get it. You have to be real and make sure you own yourself, including your mistakes.

3. You do not have an agenda. You want to be popular because….? If you want to be popular do not become popular because you want to manipulate your own agenda towards your audience. Become popular because you want something good to happen, or you want to make things right and possibly create better rules. You want to be popular because you have a meaningful purpose not a hidden, selfish agenda.

4. You are a copycat. You know you are not going to be popular if you do not have your own style. You have to have your own brand. You have to stand out and be a distinct member of the group, or the society at large. You have to be yourself and be good at it. Yes it is quite an excellent idea to study the lives and the strategies of people you admire, but going the distance and copying every single thing they do or put on themselves won’t do you any good. In fact, continuing to do so will just doom you for bigger failures.

5. You do not get personal. Most of the popular people I know within my network are popular because they really get personal. When I say they get personal they know the important facts about you, they remember events close to your heart and strike conversations that pertain to your family, your love life and your interest. They do not start talking with you about the weather, or the sports game they just saw or the latest news – but they go beyond these universal topics and  grips your heart when they ask, “so, how is your   Mom doing? When is her next trip to the Philippines?”

So, if you want to be popular and be good at it, look at the reasons. Use them and make it happen.

And when you become more popular and successful, let me know! I love reading about successful people and featuring them here.

Photo of Frederick Claflin

By Kenton Sefcik

In the boxing world, the ‘given’ age that a boxer will retire is 35 years of age.

A potential hockey player should be drafted by his or her 18th birthday – and now headhunters are going after them even younger.

In the business world, if you are too old you may be expunged for the younger crowd.

Universities have a median age of 24-year-old students.

However, it’s never too late! It’s never too late to live the dreams kept deep inside one’s heart.

There are many instances where dreams must be put on hold or worked at more slowly than a person wants.  Perhaps one is a single-mother or single-father.  Perhaps, with the downturn of the economy, the finances aren’t there to support the dreams.  Perhaps the life-situation of the current moment doesn’t serve the dreams and goals of the future – yet.

On the other hand, there are many things that one may pursue outside of the above-mentioned establishments if one so desires: fitness, writing, small businesses, etc.

But regardless if one is committed to break into a field at a later time where there is currently a predetermined age or one wants to branch out into uncharted territory, we are continually seeing people from all walks of life challenge the status quo.

As a martial artist for over 17 years, this video really finds a spot in my heart.  Even if you aren’t a fan of the martial arts, I’m sure the story will inspire you to believe:  it’s never too late!

PS: A big thank you to all the readers who commented on my last post.  Due to the popularity of the last post, I have been asked by amsdaily.net to write a monthly article.  I couldn’t have done it without your support and I hope to continue to inspire you!

Editor’s Note: Kenton Sefcik is a father, husband, Registered Acupuncturist, published author and martial artist. You can read more of his ramblings at AMSDaily and at Dark Wing Chun.

Photo of Frederick Claflin

By Buenaflor Laoang

Ooops! Our last Wednesday this February! Oh- so short are the days!

But in our Feb “LOVE” mantra, we can lengthen each day of our life when we choose to fill it with love.

I hope you didn’t miss on our previous posts as we spell out“love”. These had been our weekly challenges:

Linger On...

Out of the Box!

Vows,  and I am now going to close this acronym by mythoughts about what love is.

E- mptiness, escape, endless…

Emptiness. Here is the greatest definition of love, from the Book of Corinthians Chapter 13:

 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

And as I pondered on it, love is so hard to carry out. We may be succeeding at some points, but we’re failing in the others. When I posted about lingering on, probably there were bloggers and readers out there who weren’t with me! Why linger, why stay, why keep on? For sometimes, staying in love is just not that easy, and I am meaning at love in its deepest ways.  That’s why, I tried to look at love, and sometimes, when it’s unattainable in its purest sense- it leaves emptiness, an emptiness within. Love is not easy.

Escape. Oh so many loved that post Out of the Box! (I thank you all!) And though we are caught in varied boxes of life- allowed ourselves to be inside those boxes where we put our heart into, where we found our definitions of love in- we share the same sentiment, the need to get some breather once in a while. And so again I thought about love, and concluded, that maybe one of the best ways to make love easier, and find its way deeper in one’s heart, is when it tells us- escape for a while… In escaping, you will miss it, and will allow you to see its purest meaning, and then until- we all succeed in realizing.

That love never fails… (I will ask you to read, a little slower this time like you are public reading a poetic prose; and for each word, feel what it tells you.)

Endless. For love, indeed, is endless. It may leave you empty, it may lead you to escape, but it stays.. it’s endless. That’s why love, too, must be taken as a vow. It is a lifetime commitment, even eternal. Whatever, wherever, whoever this incredible thing called love touches, he ought not to fail it, if he is to seek after true happiness, real freedom, his fulfillment.. he ought to embrace it, and know fully well what true love is.

And that true love, spoke to me this February, and told me of those three things: “emptiness, escape, endless”… Well, I’d be cheered to know about your story, too. Many things happened this month, and at the end of it all and on the final week of the love month- I invite you to feel love in all its forms, in its every detail, submit to all that it brings, trust it in every way. Perhaps, that’s the best way to experience it in life.

And remember, at the peak or the downiest points of loving, it simply never fails all the time.

Love and always,

Buena

Photo of Randy Legaspi

By Ronald Colunga

What Are Dreams?

Photo of Randy Legaspi

By Stuart Young

Take the opportunity today to look into someone’s eyes for one minute
without touching or talking.

Think it’s easy?

Once you’ve stopped giggling and blinking, settle down to do it
seriously. The whole giggling thing is our defence from someone
getting too close. Allow them to get close because guess what – you’re
getting that close to them.

Be aware of your thoughts as you do this, notice if you are feeling
more or less connected to that person. Notice if that person seems
comfortable or awkward. Do you notice something different about them?
Does your mind start to wander?

You are only as vulnerable as the person you are sharing this with.
Having said that – you may find it really easy and enjoyable. I hope
you do.

If you do find this quite easy, try doing it for two minutes or three.

Editor’s Note: Stuart Young writes his thoughts on How To Change Your Life One Day At A Time. He aims to provide a “set of 365 practical little guides which WILL change your life if you commit to implementing as many as possible.” You can check his thoughts here.

Photo of Paolo Feliciano

Daphne Oseña Paez is a household name in thePhilippines.

She is a Filipino TV show host, the producer of her own  home design TV show Urban Zone®,  a business woman (Daphne®), a jewelry designer, a Filipino blogger, a UNICEF special advocate, a product ambassador for Olay, a wife, and most especially, the mother of three children.

She is what I would call a “cosmopolitan woman”, somebody who knows a lot of things, who has combined her passion, her knowledge and everything she can possibly hold in her hands and put them into her life. She is ultimately the kind of woman we all like to be: successful, happy, loving, religious and creative!

As the Editor of this blog, I am highly honored to feature her for Saturday Success Story on AMSDaily as she is my all-time favorite TV show host! I have watched her incessantly in her first lifestyle TV show F! with Cher Calvin and Angel Aquino where I used to get ideas on Philippine fashion, food, travel and lifestyle. As everybody knows in the Philippine media, F! became the longest running and most awarded lifestyle magazine show in the country.

Today, she is what she has worked for and I am very glad to share her story with you!

This is her story:

AMS:  Tell us about yourself. Your education, training and where you are currently involved in.

Daphne: I am a mother, wife, TV Host & Producer of Urban Zone, web entrepreneur (daphne.ph). I was born in thePhilippines, raised inCanada. I’m a Canadian citizen.

I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts, Major in Urban Studies, Specialist in Fine Art History from theUniversityofToronto. I was also appointed as the UNICEF Special Advocate for Children.

AMS:  Growing up, did you always dream of becoming a producer, businesswoman and also a TV show host?

Daphne: No I didn’t. I trained to be an urban planner and did that for about three years. But I always had a creative and artistic side. I knew I didn’t want to work in an office. So my first job was for a Canadian company that did urban planning related projects in developing countries. I wanted to travel after university, see the world and gain international experience before getting a serious job inToronto. When I was in high school inToronto I thought I could one day be an architect even though I wasn’t really interested in the technical side of building a building. I was always attracted to the design world and the only way I knew to manifest it was to work as an urban planner. After my three years doing urban planning programs, I got an offer from ABS-CBN. It was totally accidental. But I was prepared for it. When I got in to ABS-CBN- I was a reporter, taught myself how to write and produce and tell stories and learned the language of broadcasting.

AMS:  How did you become who you are today, the “Daphne Osena-Paez” that we all  know?

Daphne: I learned everything on the job. I taught myself new skills. I wasn’t satisfied just being a host. I wanted to learn the creative side, the back-end, and eventually the business side. Urban Zone® is my baby. It’s my brand. A production company produces it for me – they provide the hardware, but the creative and editorial is headed by me with the help of my team. When UZ’s influence and foothold in the design industry got stronger, I established the Daphne® brand. It is a registered trademark. Under my brand there are home/design products like linens (available in SM and Our Home), furniture (in Rustan’s), and fine jewellery (available in Accessory Lab).

AMS:  In carving your name in the Philippine media, what were some of the obstacles you met and how are you still making it?

Daphne: Initially it was a language/pronunciation problem. I didn’t speak Tagalog well enough, so TV Patrol never allowed me to voice a story for them. I would contribute but I never got to read stories. Until one time I had my own scoop – I interviewed a controversial person and only I had the story, I flew toBoston for it. Now, the challenges I face are those that involve being an independent. I don’t work for  TV station. I do everything on my own – my management, my marketing, my content.

AMS:  Being a Mom, a show host and a producer, how do you manage it all? Where do you get your inspiration and energy come from?

Daphne: I prioritize my children first. Hosting my show only takes half a day each week. The rest of the time I can be working from home. I say no to many social events. I just don’t have the time for that. It’ll take me away from my family. The business (home products) operations are done by my partners. The things that take a lot of time are photo shoots and other marketing activities I have to do to push my brand. And for those, sometimes I bring my kids.

AMS:  Being a celebrated person in theManilaand around thePhilippines, what is your  most important message that you would like your followers/fans to know about you?

Daphne: That I am a product of my own hard work and was never about hype. I never had a manager, publicist – I don’t even have an assistant. That I achieved this slowly but surely. TV shows don’t last forever. But even if I lose one, I can make another one. I credit that to the fact that I know the back end of my business. And also, that I am a mother first before anything else.

AMS:  As the producer and show host of Urban Zone®,  what are your favorite houses?

Daphne: Each house is worth a story. They are all good.

Editor’s Note: Watch a segment of Daphne’s TV show Urban Zone®:

AMS:  Who or what inspired you to be who you are?

Daphne: My own personal desire to succeed. My parents of course guided me throughout my young life. I still turn to them for advice. And when things get rough, I turn to them for pep talk because no matter what, they are always my biggest supporters. I am proud of my university education – my parents worked hard for that. Professionally, it is my husband who helped make everything happen for me. He is my rock and my compass. He always knew which path I should take, even if it was the long path. But I got there.

AMS:  What are some of the greatest achievement that you’ve had aside from we already mentioned?

Daphne:

a) Project manager of an international development program forCanada- at 24 years old.

b) Spearheading the coordination of foreign aid fromCanada’s Global Medic to Iligan and CDO last December. I just did it on my own out of frustration. I contacted Global Medic and asked them to come and help restore clean water. In a span of 24 hours I had to get approval from the top guy of PAL to fly in 5 Canadian volunteer medics and huge cargo full of water purification tablets. In the first 2 hours, I was able to get their two local trucks on board a Navy vessel. Then when things were getting critical, I was able to get a C130 to fly more cargo to CDO. I almost fainted after everything was delivered. The value of the aid was over $100,000 USD.  BBC World News found out about what I did and interviewed me (live radio).

c) Being a UNICEF Special Advocate

AMS:  Who are/were your motivators?

Daphne: The fact that I am a mother of 3 happy girls.

AMS:  If, you were to tell us what are the most important skills that you need in order to be successful (in general) in life- what are they?

Daphne:

1. Know the technical or creative side, learn the craft

2. Be open to new possibilities

3. I’m a firm believer that obtaining a university degree is a good thing to have. It may not be a guarantee for success, but it has always given me confidence that I can go anywhere in the world and my degree can open doors.

4. Be a good communicator – have good writing skills.

5. Charm is a good thing.

6. Never underestimate the power of being nice.

7. Get valuable work experience in the industry you want to be in – even if it means working for free at first.

AMS:  What are your next goals for yourself and for family?

Daphne: To expand Daphne.ph

AMS:  Finally, what is your definition of success.

Daphne: Stability, Sense of achievement and Happiness

To read other inspiring Success Stories, click here.

He is not a family member nor a relative.

But losing him makes me grieve.

Kyle was my student.

Early this morning, I heard from the radio about his death. He was only 16. He was young, vibrant and would have been the first in his family to complete his high school education. He had lots of potential. He is kind, brave, smart and loving. His teachers love him. He is an individual who would-have-been, who could-have-been and who should-have-been.

I feel for his soul, his family and his shattered future – no, gone future.

I know he is gone, but his memories and his love will always remain in the hearts of the people whom he had touched.

I just wish he will fulfill his dreams, as he goes to heaven.

Kyle, you will be missed!

Photo of Shem-shem Pablo

By Liz Scala

Have you ever been in a “food rut?”  You eat the same thing every single day for lunch; salad, sandwich, and a piece of fruit.  You love this lunch.  It is easy to make, quick to prepare, and simple to bring to work.  It can be stored safely in a jam-packed staff refrigerator.  By bringing your meal you are less tempted to buy fast food or eat something unhealthy.  So you make the healthy choice and, most of the time, really do enjoy a salad and a sandwich.  You’ve tried to change it up by adding various alternatives each week; greens, spinach, cucumbers, carrots, kale, broccoli, onions, peppers, tomatoes, herbs, nuts, seeds, berries, even chicken and/or a hardboiled egg for protein.  It sounds delicious, right!?  It can get dull pretty quickly when you pack the same lunch every day for over six months; to the point where you dread eating lunch, avoid it, and are enticed to purchase unhealthy items! 

This did happen to me and I reflected on what I was experiencing.  Here is what I realized:

• A routine offers comfort
• Bringing lunch decreases the chance of buying unhealthy
• It is easy to make salad at the start of the week and then portion it out for each day
• Uncertainty of alternative and easy options
• Fear of unfamiliar and unknown food choices
• Laziness
• Salads are a good way to get multiple vegetables in a day

Instead of continuing to eat the same thing and being irritated with myself for doing so; I have taken action.  I was traveling home from New Jersey one weekend and passed a farm stand I always go by.  At first I kept on driving, but something in my heart and deep in my gut made me take a sharp, out-of-control U-turn!  I bought new vegetables I have never cooked before.  I made a plan to have each one on a separate night for dinner.  I started with spaghetti squash; it was amazing!  I proved to myself I could try something new and had great success with it.  By cooking a new vegetable for dinner and consequently enjoying it; I am confident I can create new and exciting food options; even at lunch.  I also emailed a friend who is an amazing chef.  He asked if I ever make bean salads or soups; that with the changing seasons these are appropriate to prepare (and easy to make).  I hadn’t thought of bean recipes or soup dishes and am excited at the possibilities he and I will share.

Now that I am aware of my problem I’ve taken some steps to change it.  I admitted to myself that I was indeed in a “food rut” and needed a change.  I decided to act on the knowledge about nutrition I already possess as a way to stifle my fears about unknown foods.  I asked for help and am open to new recipe possibilities that will come my way. 

Instead of waiting around in your “food rut” feeling bored, frustrated, and tired of your foods; take action:

• Realize you know more than you think: You know about healthy food options; therefore you are ahead of the game.  Take pride in that.
• Tap into established support/resources: Ask for recipes from friends or find something easy to make online.  It’s as simple as typing into a search engine “spaghetti squash recipes” and finding a recipe you’d like to try.
• Pull from past successes: Think back to a time when you made a new dish for a party or event.  Remember all the compliments you received.  You can do it again!
• Follow your instinct:  If your gut is telling you to try something new; go for it!  Our bodies know what they need in terms of food.
• Be creative: Take a cooking class.  Go to a workshop.  Find food networking groups, online forums, or blogs that discuss food. 
• Have a plan:  Get 2-3 new items and have a well-thought out plan for what you are going to do with each of them.  Mark your daily calendar with new menus to increase your likelihood of success.
• Try again: It is o.k. if you try a new recipe and overcook something the first time.  If something is not done just the way you’d like; be ready to experiment a second time.  Realize you may not like every new food you try.

Editor’s Note: Liz Scala writes about Health and Wellness twice a month for AMSDaily. You can visit her blog at Living Sublime Wellness to read more on these topics.

Photo of Shem-shem Pablo

By Buenaflor Laoang

A vow is a solemn promise. Before you make it, you give your heart to it. When you make it, you know you are not going to break it. As being true to yourself and to the other person you made your vow with, you will keep it.

As circumstances change, or troubles arise, the ways in fulfilling a vow may vary- but in the heart it stays, a promise to accomplish. We may be tempted to forsake it, but we cannot silence it inside of us.  No one forgets a vow he has made. It stays, whether one chooses to neglect it, delay it, or get it done.

That is why it is said, no one should make a vow hastily; that in many things in life he can simply say yes or no. A vow, for me, when entered into, is a commitment of faith, and in a lifetime. It is a sacred oath you offer. It is a promise that must not be broken; it finds meaning in its fulfillment.

I made four important vows in my life- in the presence of people, and with God: 1- to remember my First Love, God; 2- to love the man who brought me to the altar; 3- to build my family and raise God-fearing children; and 4- to persevere on a mission to touch lives through the gifts entrusted to me.

Yesterday-February 14, I renewed my vows. I succumb to the arms of my First Love and said yes once more. I looked longer at the face of my life partner (after the gaps over the weeks) and saw the man who kept with me through the years of searching, forgetting, and inability to forgive- and I loved him more. I received the hugs and kisses of my children with tears in my eyes- because there had been moments I thought of leaving them when I could not see myself in them anymore- and I reaffirmed to become an even more determined and passionate mom to them all.

And now- no matter where I am, whatever only I have got, whatever lies ahead, and whoever I have become, I will persevere to fulfill my vows. I will use the gifts entrusted me. I will mold children- be they on the streets. I will talk about hope, faith, and love- however I’d been broken. I will write pieces to remind us of the desolate we need to care for too, of the wretches we should not label, of the people different from us we need to accept as they are.

Or simply, to remind us of the promises you made to yourself, to others, or to God.

For we are under vows. We are going to be careful with them, and keep them.

This week- fulfill your vows.

Editor’s Note: Buenaflor Laoang-Rosete contributes weekly on AMSDaily. You can visit her blog at Barefoot Life Reflections to read more about inspiring stories.

Photo of Frederick Claflin

There is a love story I want to tell you. It is something that I may not have gotten permission to share but because I know their story is worth everybody’s attention, I will still go ahead and share it with you.

This is a story about our friends, R. and L., who live in the Southern coastal part ofMassachusetts. R works as an accountant as well as a Market America consultant while L works in the retail industry. R and L continue to share a love story that I always think worth creating a romance film out of it. They are both in their late forties, living gracefully and loving better each day! They live to love and their love lives with them.

Their love story came through a conversation one evening while we were at another friend’s house.

 About twenty years ago, R (male) was stationed in the Philippines as a US Marine Corps. He was very young and in his late teens when he decided to serve the country and luckily was based in the Subic Bay area, Central Luzon, Philippines. At that time, L (female) was 18 and was working for her aunt’s little grocery store near the base. She was there for only one reason, to earn money for a living. Little did she know that everyday, there was this man – R, who was keeping a close eye on her.

The young man R would go to this sari-sari store almost everyday in hopes of getting to know L better. At first, he started going to the store to buy a bottle of beer here and  something to snack on and would attempt to talk to L in English. L, who can understand English was very intimated with the young GI’s accent and handsome face. She tried to ignore him the first few times but the young man R was very persistent. She brushed him off and told him to go away – but the young man, won’t! Instead of leaving her alone, he continued to pay her a visit and pretend that he needed something from the store just to catch a glimpse of L’s beauty. He continued to do that – while she wants to ignore him. All that L. wanted to do at that time was to earn money and not be involved with a stranger, let alone an American who might be gone in a bliss!

Yet, he knew he was falling in love with her. He knew his heart belongs to her, but he just doesn’t know how to win her. Finally, after several attempts and showing her how serious he is in establishing a romantic relationship with her,  she gave in. She fell for him – his handsome face, his dedication and the way he was seriously pursuing her. Soon, they were together, secretly – away from the knowledge of L’s aunt, whose only vision for L is to finish school and get a better life. They were seeing each other, loving and being intimate.

Until, one night that changed it all.

R heard the breaking news that in less than 10 hours they were going to be deployed toVietnam. It was an abrupt announcement and he tried his best to look for her and tell her about the sudden plan. He went to look for her but he couldn’t. The following day, he left thePhilippineswithout saying goodbye to her. He left with a heavy heart and a child in his girlfriend’s womb.

Meanwhile, L was devastated. She carried on with her life without any idea what happened to her beau and without knowing exactly the location of R. She carried their child in her womb for 9 months, oftentimes hiding it from her relatives, whom she didn’t want them to know that she was a young mother out of wedlock. She took the embarrassment, the hurt and the pain of being a single Mom. She took odd jobs to raise her only son. She moved on without hoping that R would ever show up, let alone marry her someday. She shunned men from her life.

Meanwhile, R was back to the United States and has been doing his best to reconnect with her – but there was no luck. He kept on trying but he was unsuccessful in his attempts. He remained single and hopeful that one day he will see L again.

That went on for almost twenty years!

Until one day, when L was working in Japan she got a phone call from her aunt in the Philippines telling her that R called and wanted to talk to her! That was the first conversation they had with each other for almost two decades! But the love was still there. The love they shared remained where they left off.

L finally left Japan and went back to thePhilippinesto meet R. At that time, their son was already a teenager and was delighted to see his father. L and R have been reunited by their love. It was their faith and their love that kept the bind between them stronger. Far and across distances, they have come to show each other their love and the feelings they still share even after years of not seeing, hearing. They kept their hopes – and their faith, that one day – their TRUE LOVE will come back!

Now, over ten years of being together – they surely are still in their honeymoon stage! And when you hear them call each other “Dear” you know that every single letter of that word really brings back a story of real and authentic love, faith and commitment.

To our friends, R and L – may your love continue to inspire us to strengthen our love, our hope and our lives! Your story will always remind of that beautiful things will shine through love and faith!

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!