Photo of Frederick Claflin
By Stuart Young
This is about being there. Not offering advice. Not pointing out
someone’s mistakes or trying to find a solution for them.
This is simply about listening. We all want to be heard, but how many
times do we feel judged or made to feel foolish. We may have been
foolish but we don’t want our noses rubbed in it, right?
And this is not about pandering to some moaner. We all know them,
they’re never happy unless they’re complaining about something or
someone. Avoid those people today and find someone that really needs
to be listened to. It may be a work colleague, it may be a friend or
family member – it may even be the person on the next table at the
coffee shop.
When you listen to someone properly you give them your full attention,
you are fully present and it makes them feel valued and important. So
turn your mobile off and try and find a time and a place where you
won’t be disturbed (that’s the tricky part!).
When you’ve fully listened to them you’ll appreciate it more when
someone really listens to you.
Editor’s Note: Stuart Young writes his thoughts on How To Change Your Life One Day At A Time. He aims to provide a “set of 365 practical little guides which WILL change your life if you commit to implementing as many as possible.” He is also completing his book about changing your life one day at a time. You can check his thoughts here.
so true, at times all one needs is to be heard
The quickest way to an experience ourselves Tya is to enable someone else to experience it. Listen, in order to be heard.
Absolutely right.
Or listen to yourself. Listen to nothing.
I think this is wonderful advice. So often, people either don’t listen, or they half-listen, or worse yet, they are thinking of their defense the whole time you are talking and don’t absorb anything. One of the best things you can do in a conversation is to listen, not just hear, what the other person has to say. They may surprise you.
That’s exactly it Jodi. Listening is a sign of respect. When people feel respected it’s very healing.
Well said.
Yes, that is true. You do appreciate it a lot more when someone listens to you, when you practice really listening to others.
Sometimes we all forget that we have two ears and one mouth…the stronger emphasis is two ears, so we can hear clearly! A very good message!
Yeah, I’d forgotten that saying Wendell – thanks for the reminder.
Words are like music in that; listening to the flow and rhythm of the talker, allows one to fully engage and appreciate what is being said and why.
Excellent observation Stuart – tone and volume and cadence are all subtle indicators. We only notice them when we’re really listening. Nice point.
So true. We all simply need to be heard sometimes… and simply listening takes the pressure off trying to actively fix someone else which allows more space to be there for oneself and others too.
God Currie – and that’s such a man thing, to want to try and fix everything! That’s a great way to look at it – by listening we can be there for ourselves too! Fab!
just because of this blog i WILL set aside time to just listen to someone without judgment or comment. I will see if it makes a difference
thanks for sharing Alpha, and congrats for your paricipation in the Bloggers conference in Boston ! it’s a town i would love to visit someday, because I’m a diehard Celtics fan!
Would love to hear how you get on with that.
If we would gift others with our attention and really listen, it would be a better world.
Exactly, and as Currie Rose above pointed out, by listening properly we actually gift ourselves.
Lovely post to improve the quality of life that we live. How many people will ever get to learn how to listen? It’s a very important tip you’ve just shared!
Listening is probably my greatest strength…..it’s the best way to understand
be good to yourself
David
Wise words to heed. I’m challenging myself to listen more. I wrote a post yesterday on listening http://wp.me/p1Cyea-1eS Thanks in advance for taking the time to visit.
Thank you very much! This is a challenge to me as it is to yours.
maybe we all spend a long time wanting to listen, and it is still easy to say, hard to do, unless someone also listens to us,
important post, thanks
Good point ESP On the last part!
So true – like anything worthwhile, it takes practice.
Listening is a valuable skill, and it takes patience to truly listen attentively to people, loved this post
I agree! In fact, I mentioned to some of my fellow participants in the most recent conference I attended that I will work on my listening skills.
And like any other skill, with practice we get better at it.
Thanks for the comment.
The world needs more of this***
Imagine if our world leaders did more of this!!!
Thank you for reblogging this post! We appreciate it!