How to Become Popular: 5 Ways

Photo of Shem-shem Pablo

I know you want to be popular. Don’t worry, it is not just you -but most people I know. I have seen it, observed it and have studied it myself! There  is actually no way of hiding it- I know you seek a level of popularity – be it in your family, your circle of friends, at work, in your choice of social networking site such as Facebook or in the restaurant – you know you want to be seen, or heard, or be attended to! You want to be the popular person in the room whose presence is felt every time you walk in the door.

But don’t you wish you were really that popular?

So popular that everyone around you awaits for your arrival, awaits for your next idea, awaits for your next move, or your next Facebook/Twitter shout out! You wanna be that popular, right?

But somehow, some way you are not getting the audience that you want.

Here’s why:

1. You do not have the attention of your audience. Get their attention first. Do not enter the door or interrupt a conversation if your audience is busy doing something else. Wait until everybody is almost bored or is not doing anything, then get your acts together and do your thing. Start talking. Do something entertaining and make it real.

2. You are not believable. People know if you are a phony or trying hard to become the “it” individual in the room. People feel it. They know it. So, if you are just putting a show just because you really want to gain that front seat, forget it you will not get it. You have to be real and make sure you own yourself, including your mistakes.

3. You do not have an agenda. You want to be popular because….? If you want to be popular do not become popular because you want to manipulate your own agenda towards your audience. Become popular because you want something good to happen, or you want to make things right and possibly create better rules. You want to be popular because you have a meaningful purpose not a hidden, selfish agenda.

4. You are a copycat. You know you are not going to be popular if you do not have your own style. You have to have your own brand. You have to stand out and be a distinct member of the group, or the society at large. You have to be yourself and be good at it. Yes it is quite an excellent idea to study the lives and the strategies of people you admire, but going the distance and copying every single thing they do or put on themselves won’t do you any good. In fact, continuing to do so will just doom you for bigger failures.

5. You do not get personal. Most of the popular people I know within my network are popular because they really get personal. When I say they get personal they know the important facts about you, they remember events close to your heart and strike conversations that pertain to your family, your love life and your interest. They do not start talking with you about the weather, or the sports game they just saw or the latest news – but they go beyond these universal topics and  grips your heart when they ask, “so, how is your   Mom doing? When is her next trip to the Philippines?”

So, if you want to be popular and be good at it, look at the reasons. Use them and make it happen.

And when you become more popular and successful, let me know! I love reading about successful people and featuring them here.


  1. Jared says:

    I don’t really desire to be popular. I just wish to be understood, maybe even appreciated, if earned.

  2. Barb F says:

    Your post ws very well thought out and though I am well beyond the demographic of this five step plan, I found it to be a great foundation from which a lifelong program will emerge, listening to others, hearing them and then speaking your thoughts, being real, yourself, not a character playing you, working on who you really are and how you want to be percived, reaching out to others in a way that recognizes their indviuality and their life as something worth remembering. To connect with people heart to heart and mind to mind builds great relationships. Popularity may be the initial goal, but over time, friends are what matter more than who you know or are known by. Interbeing as some refer to this feeling of community and realization of the importance of everyone’s place in it is a great long lasting resul of developing your five step plan in living very day. I really found a lot to think bout.

  3. DSS Ramam says:

    Your post with a five point formula for becoming popular is thought provoking. These five points mentioned by you are very real and relevant. As Barb F mentioned in her comment above, popularity may be initial goal, friend are what matters more. I tend to agree with her view.

    If we want to really gain the attention of others, I have a simple three letter acronym for it. It is called “CCK”.The first C represents “Credibility”, the second C represents “Concern” and the K represent ‘knowledge”. We need to remember this when we are interacting with others. This helped me win good friends and valuable customers in my life.

    The 5th point in your post suggests that one should get personal rather than talk about weather or sports and such. Conversations is a process. It takes time to establish a trust based relationship before we can start talking personal things. Initially we start with facts (weather, sports etc.), as we develop the relation we will start talking about views or opinions; finally when we have established a good relationship, we will talk about feelings and personal issues. Our goals is to reach that stage where people feel comfortable to discuss personal things.

    I remember a quote from Margaret Miller, “Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses”. We tend to become very unpopular because of our urge to monopolize and deliver monologues. A conversation is a dialogue and not a monologue. If we want to really win friends, we should develop a keen and genuine interest in people and their accomplishments. We should listen more and talk less.

  4. Tim Gillette says:

    Great post today. I like the be original and stop being a copy part, as well as the whats your purpose.
    So many times when coaching people these are the two things I work with them the most. To hear all five of these with a great eye catching title was well put.

    Rock On

  5. seakist says:

    What about if you are “too popular”? Honestly, in my lifetime I left a few jobs because people would just trust me enough to tell me all their problems and talk my ear off, to the point that it drained my soul.

    I guess I am just too nice.

    Well, it was a blessing in disguise because those incidents prompted me to start my own home-based business. But wanting to be popular is the last thing I need! Ha-ha-ha! *smiles* Maybe some of the boring people I’ve dealt with should read this!

  6. seakist says:

    P.S. — Please add a #6 because this is a major reason that turns me off to a lot of people — and I mean A LOT!

    6. Do not try to “one-up” people. If something good is happening to someone, be happy for them, not jealous or competitive. Do not makes conversations “all about you.” Show interest in others. If they listen to your problems, be there for them when they have problems.

  7. Carla says:

    This, in an odd but fun way, reminds me of “Horton Hears a Who” by Dr. Seuss. One tiny, but relentless Who was adamant about everyone knowing they were there on that dust speck. I don’t particularly want to be “popular”, but I so want to share my thoughts and encourage people to notice the wonder in everyday and in every person. Thank you for this!

  8. Sanah says:

    More than being popular I’d like it if people understood me.
    A great post. :)

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