Photo of Randy Legaspi
One of my friends used to say “Good guys never get girls”. It appears that pleasure is meant for ‘bad’ guys only. Can you see something in this statement? It is a belief and beliefs play a very important role in shaping our lives.
Good people suffer because they have been told centuries after centuries that it is their fate.
They are born to get exploited and suffer, that’s what makes them ‘good’.
They have been harboring this belief in their minds since the evolution of mankind. The belief is at work and they are getting the results – suffering, misery and pain.
Whatever you are experiencing in your life is the result of your beliefs.
It all comes down to one thing – How you see the world? How do you relate to it?
In reality, there’s not one world. There are as many worlds as there are people.
Every Person Lives in His or Her Own World. A World They Have Created for Themselves
Some people believe the world is full of love, they experience love.
Some people believe the world is full of crooks, they get to meet many crooks in a day.
Some people believe in wealth and prosperity, they experience the same.
Some people believe in misery and suffering, they suffer a lot.
An Example from My Life
The other day I went to an ATM to withdraw cash. As soon as I reached there, a guy rushed in front of me and entered the ATM chamber before me. It took him long since the ATM was slow.
I was getting uneasy and frustrated standing outside, wishing I could have made it before him. After that, the same instance started repeating, leaving me frustrated and confused.
Later, I realized that it was a belief taking shape in my mind that no matter how fast I try to make it, there will always be someone before me at the ATM and I’ll have to wait for long time. This instance might appear trivial but in reality it is not. It shows the power of belief.
If you are having trouble with your finances, love affair, married life, studies, career, personal growth or anything else, don’t look for reasons outside. There’s none. It’s all within you-your belief system. Check it and if you find something wrong, correct it.
How to Replace a Self-limiting Belief with a Self-supporting One
In the next couple of minutes, you are going to discover a simple yet powerful technique to replace any self-limiting belief with a self-supporting one.
Make sure you can spare 15-20 minutes alone. Get into a place where you know you will not be disturbed. Make yourself comfortable. Close your eyes. Take 3 deep breaths and start relaxing. Imagine that you are inhaling positive energy and exhaling all the stresses out. Take your time, go slow. When you feel relaxed, choose a word that represents an area from your life – self-esteem, studies, finances, career, family or whatever it happens to be.
For example if you choose finances, repeat ‘Finances’ in your mind and watch what kind of thoughts, images or feelings comes to you? Whatever comes to your mind, welcome it, even if it’s something you consider ‘bad’. This is your self-limiting belief making itself visible to you. Don’t try to suppress it.
Now, talk to it as if you are talking to one of your dearest friends. Say “I apologize for the fact that I never listened to you. I was busy finding answers on the outside, but today I have decided to have a word with you. I now acknowledge that you DO exist.” Be present to whatever you may experience.
Most of the self-limiting beliefs never leave us, the reason is, like human beings, they too, want to get acknowledged. They want to get their presence felt, but we never give them a chance.
We keep on denying their very presence. We pretend that no such belief exist in our mind.
Whenever we get even a glimpse of any such belief, we tend to dismiss it and start affirming something opposite, thinking that it will go away with time. That never happens. The more you suppress any belief, stronger it becomes.
If you feel under-confident, you deny that and keep repeating that you are confident.
If you are not making any progress in personal growth, you deny that and keep affirming ‘Everyday in every way I am getting better and better’
I am not suggesting that affirmations don’t work. They do. But you need to do the ground work first. What do you do when you want to plant some beautiful roses in your garden? Do you simply plant the roses or do you first clean the soil, remove the weeds and prepare it for your lovely roses? Of course you remove the weeds first.
Your mind, too, is like a garden. You need to eliminate the conflicting belief lying underneath FIRST. Accepting and acknowledging the self-limiting belief is the right way to clean your mind. Acknowledging the belief makes it loosen its grip on you. The energy that was stuck gets released and become available for you to form new, powerful self-supporting beliefs.
When you are done acknowledging the self limiting belief, ask yourself “Is this something I want or can I think of something better?” Repeat this question a couple times if you like and wait for the answer to come from within. If the answer doesn’t come instantly, open your eyes. Have faith that the answer will appear at the just the right time.
The answer will be the idea about the belief you need to install in your mind. Listen to your heart and install the new belief by affirming it daily. This is how you create your own PERFECT world.
Editor’s Note: Avdhessh Arya, is a personal development coach for youth and voice actor, who helps young people break walls of self-imposed limitations and become confident individuals. He is also the founder and owner of avdhessharya.com, a website portal with focus on dealing with lack of self-confidence, negativity, self-doubt, lack of focus and more. Visit http://avdhessharya.com to read more such insightful articles.