Day 76: Talk to the person

Photo by: Joana Martin

One of the things I was taught by my mentor that was not easily and readily applied is the first step in conflict resolution. 

Conflicts happen everywhere, especially in an organization. As a leader, you must be prepared to handle different types of conflicts and arguments, and you have to do it calmly. One of the most common conflicts occur between your staff member and another, who just do not know how to handle the issue as adults.

Conflicts start when two adults – or  one of them, forgets the fact that he is a capable and a logical being who can solve problems the moment they arise. Adults forget the fact that they can talk to the individual who has hurt them first without involving another party. They forget that they have that power to exercise.

That first step in conflict resolution is empowering!

Once you recognize that there is a conflict brewing ask yourself first why this is happening to you. Then, attack the problem with the first action, which is: TALK TO THE PERSON who has been causing you some distress. Talk to him/her. If it needs to be private and it needs to be addressed right away, do so. Delaying it will only cause more aggravation and irration on your part.


Why do you have to talk to that person, first? There are two reasons:

Number one: maybe the person does not know that you are being bothered by her, or her action or behavior.

Number two: you’ll get clarifications from the person directly.

In an ideal world, there probably won’t be any conflicts or further ego-damaging events if everybody will just tell to themselves that they need to talk to the person first, before complaining to another person about that individual who has caused them some sorrow or disappoinment.

By talking to the person up front, you are doing yourself a lot of favor including being truthful to yourself and to the person; being honest without sugar coating the incident and also you become more confident!

It may seem too intimidating to confront that individual, but do it – you know you will be empowered!

You’ll even put smiles on both parties once you’ve heard the clarifications.

Daily with you,

– Alpha

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